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  • Writer's pictureKaren

Here we go again!

After 5 years, we welcome another baby girl into our family. We were both excited and nervous, given we've been through many heartaches in the past years, this feels like a miracle to us. Sadly, our families were not able to travel here due to COVID-19. So grateful that our friends came to our rescue and took care of Fina and Brownie while we were in the hospital.

I had really bad postpartum depression on my 1st pregnancy. It was so bad that I barely hold my baby, afraid that I might hurt her. It went on for a few months, and I didn't know what it was or how to deal with it. Fortunately I feel fine this time around, I feel much happier and because of that I feel like I have a better bond with Gemma.

Both of my girls are super easy babies, the only issue was breastfeeding, they both had a hard time latching on and I didn't have enough milk to support their growth. We use formula to supplement, and as they get older, my supply could only fulfill less than half of their needs. I am not sure if there's even benefit of me continuing pumping breast milk. It is exhausting, and discouraging most of the time, but I soldier on. But that's what mothers do right? You may not know what's best, but you make the best of what you have.

One thing I know for sure is the bond between Fina and Gemma. From the moment Fina saw Gemma, I know she is in love with her little sister, and vice versa. I was worried about how Fina will react, since she has been the only child for the past 5 years, and she completely surprised me. (I am an only child, and I have no clue what siblings' bonds could be this powerful). Fina loves being a big sister, she is gentle, caring and a great helper. Often times we found her entertaining Gemma while we are busy, making her giggles and calming her down when she cries. Life is effervescent but absolutely still with them in it. Just like in the movie, where things in the background are blurred out, and all you can see is these two humans (which you've made happened) so in love with one another. We feel so blessed and honored to be their parents, and we love them with all our hearts!

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